By Jiae Park
Photos courtesy of DUO
LOS ANGELES — He was cute. So I asked him, “Do you date much?”
“No.”
“What kind of women do you want to date?”
“Uhh …”
And so the conversation with the man sitting across from me went on with only monosyllabic responses for a few more minutes.
Thank god for the open bar.
I never thought I would be at a speed-dating event. But when a co-worker told me I could dress up, eat a three-course meal and spend an evening on the 54th floor of a building overlooking downtown Los Angeles, I figured it would be amusing.
At first, I was nervous walking into the party organized by Duo, a dating service based in Koreatown targeting Korean Americans. The room was full of single 30-somethings — a total of 25 females and 25 males looking to find that special someone to marry. If all went well, I just might meet my mate for life by the end of the night, or so I thought.
The people there ranged from doctors and dentists to financial analysts and even a U.S. Air Force pilot. Most of them had received an education from a prestigious university and were now earning six-figure incomes.
So I assumed these bachelors would be confident and secure about themselves. Not exactly. During the “interviews,” most of my set-ups were surprisingly quiet and timid. “Uhh, hello, this is speed-dating, where you’re only given three minutes to interrogate each other and try to find out if there might be some romantic potential,” I wanted to yell at them.
During the dance-off portion of the night, where random couples were thrust onto the dance floor, my partner was so shy he didn’t know what to do once I started to “back my thang up.” Since he kept retreating from me as I shook my behind toward him, we almost ended up against the wall.
Why was I getting stuck with these guys? While a few couples seemed to be hitting it off, I was left asking myself: “Why are you here? Do you just not know how to find a date? Or did your parents put you up to this? Is it so important to them that you get married they were willing to shell out the money to have you here?”
Well, at least I’m not looking to get married anytime soon. Being just 25 years old, there’s no rush to reach the altar. But this experience made me think about my future and what I want in a potential mate. It also made me realize dating shouldn’t have to be so serious. Have fun and relax. And despite all the annoying questions and nagging from your family, you can get married at any age.
I also discovered that, despite my bad luck that night, speed-dating isn’t so bad if you’re looking to find a date. It allows you to put aside the game-playing and cuts you right to the chase: What’s your name? What do you do? No need to take 30 minutes to muster up the confidence to approach someone only to get shot down. No cheesy pick-up lines.
The hardest part of dating is the first step: risking your vulnerability when asking someone out. But at the party, where everyone had the mutual understanding that they were all there for the same reason, one could just jump right into step two: trying to get to know the other person. And who doesn’t want to get to know rich, successful singles? Plus, there were many to choose from in one room.
Come Valentine’s Day, I imagine some of the couples that hooked up at the party will be spending a romantic dinner together.
But not me. I won’t be with any of the guys that I dated in three-minute blocks of time. I like dating the old-fashioned way … at least, for now.
