By Michelle Woo
Let’s face it—things have changed.
When we were their age, books were read on paper, Pluto was considered a planet, and tweets were sounds that birds made. Tack on the latest language barrier—TMI, SWAK, STBU*, huh?—and it can seem that today’s college students aren’t just from a different generation, but from an entirely different species.
But when it comes to the big stuff, their identity and values, their goals and fears, what attitudes have we passed down? What unique challenges and opportunities have they inherited?
As the bell to a new school year rings, we rounded up six college students from across the country to get the real deal on everything from relationships to racism to what it means to be Korean American, all from the comfort of—where else?–a chat room.
Sarah Kim, 21, is a senior at the University of Colorado at Boulder, majoring in molecular, cellular and developmental biology. She has been a resident advisor for three years. She enjoys church, sports, writing music and playing instruments.
Last book she read: The Shack, William P. Young.
On her iPod: Starfield, Daft Punk, Earth Wind and Fire, Michael Buble, Bob Marley, Big Mama and Kim Gun Mo. “There’s barely any space left!”
Where she’ll be in 10 years: Married with kids. “I have many other career goals, but I just want to make sure that I am fully satisfied and happy as an adult.”
Eric Bartram, 21, is a senior at the University of Colorado at Boulder. He’s studying business and is interested in pursuing corporate law. He loves martial arts, playing music and his beautiful girlfriend of five years.
Last book he read: Wizard and Glass, Stephen King.
On his iPod: Breaking Benjamin, John Mayer, Hieroglyphics, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Nickel Creek, Sung Si Kyung. “And the list goes on.”
Where he’ll be in 10 years: Either in corporate law or on the business side of higher education.
Sunkyung Park, 21, is a senior at Northeastern University in Boston, majoring in international business, finance and Spanish. She enjoys meeting new people, blogging and learning languages. She was recently in Korea for five months and learned how to play the gayageum, a traditional string instrument.
Last book she read: The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell.
On her iPod: “Inspirational speeches, India.Arie, Common, Sarah Bareilles.”
Where she’ll be in 10 years: “Happy, healthy and traveling with my family. Preferably in our own jet!”
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Yihwan Kim, 17, is a freshman at Stanford University, studying humanities. In high school, he played the cello in the school’s symphony orchestra, was a member of the varsity tennis team and was heavily involved with Key Club International.
Last book he read: Hunger, Lan Samantha Chang.
On his iPod: “Pop, rock, rap, hip-hop, songs in Spanish and Korean I can barely understand, TV/movie soundtracks and stuff that’s borderline elevator music.”
Where he’ll be in 10 years: It’s undecided. “I can only hope that I’ll be doing something I love while impacting the people around me.”
Philip Kim, 21, is a senior at CUNY LaGuardia Community College in New York. As a community organizer and the co-director of the Korean American Advocacy Network, he has been featured on television, the radio and in newspapers.
Last book he read: Boy Genius: Karl Rove, the Brains Behind the Remarkable Political Triumph of George W. Bush, Lou Dubose.
On his iPod: Biggie, Tupac, Big L, Aziatic, Jay-Z, Map The Soul/Epik High, 50 Cent, Talib Kweli. “But I won’t lie, I still got some Big Bang, 2NE1, and some 2PM in there.”
Where he’ll be in 10 years: “Either running for office or working as a partner at a mid-sized law firm.”
*Decoder: TMI = too much information, SWAK = sealed with a kiss, STBU = sucks to be you. Got that?
KoreAm: Tell me about your parents.
Joan: Mine have the typical immigrant story. They moved to the U.S. with about $100 in their pockets. The importance of education was carved into my head. Whenever I brought home bad grades, my dad would sit me down and give me the “this is a white man’s world” talk and lecture me on how I had to work twice as hard to succeed in America since I was Korean.
Eric: My [adoptive] parents gave me the same “bad grades will get you nowhere” lecture and they are both white.
KoreAm: Did you assume you would go to college?
Joan: Yes. I never even thought of NOT going to college.
Sunkyung: College was actually optional for me (yes, my parents are Korean). My dad sat me down when I was a senior in high school and asked me “SK, why do you want to go to college? You know you have options… You don’t have to go right away. I want you to know why you’re going and know what you want.”
Philip: Wow, you’re lucky Sunkyung. Let’s trade parents right now.
Sunkyung: Hahaha.
Philip: I never was really motivated to go to college. I failed throughout high school. It was not until about a year ago I got myself motivated. I’m so terribly afraid that I won’t amount to something in the future. I don’t want to disappoint my parents.
Joan: During my sophomore year, I went through a huge identity crisis because I didn’t know what to declare as my major. I thought about dropping out of school and the only thing that worried me was how I was going to tell my folks.
KoreAm: What made you stay?
Joan: I took a course called Comparative Education, which really opened my eyes. I declared my major as education and have loved college ever since. 🙂
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KoreAm: So what motivates you to succeed today? Is it an “honor my family” thing or more of an internal thing?
Eric: Both. Although my adoptive parents expect me to do well in whatever I choose to do, a large part of my motivation comes from my one meeting with my birth family in 2002. The last thing my birth mom said to me before we left Korea was to do well in school and succeed. She said she was already proud of me. So, I have myself and my two families to strive to do well for.
Sunkyung: Wow, that’s amazing Eric!
Eric: Thank you.
KoreAm: Whom do you typically hang out with? Mostly Asians or those of different racial backgrounds?
Sarah: I have a church community, work community, and then a group of childhood friends. I’m surrounded by a diverse group.
Joan: I could name 80% of the Koreans at Emory but very few non-Asians. I had a diverse group of friends in high school, but once I got into college, I mainly spent my time with the Korean Student Association on campus. Now that I’m winding down my college career, I’ve realized that I’ve been so caught up promoting diversity by
promoting Korean culture that I haven’t really experienced different cultures myself.
Sunkyung: Well, sometimes other Korean Americans just…“get it.” Joan, in promoting multiculturalism, did you feel as if you were expected to be really “Korean” and represent a certain demographic?
Joan: I often felt the pressure to “act Korean,” as in hang out predominantly with Koreans. When Koreans go to frat parties or hang out with a bunch of white people, they’re labeled “twinkies.”
Sunkyung: Haha. “Twinkie” has a different meaning everywhere. You know we would be considered “twinkies” by “fobs” because we only speak in English to one another?
Joan: At Emory, there’s slight pressure to either hang out with the “fobs” or the “twinkies.” Very few Koreans hang out with both.
Sunkyung: Same with Northeastern. But I really want to hang out with both 🙁
Eric: I would too. A bunch of my adopted friends and I feel separate from the “real Koreans.” With most of us growing up in primarily white communities, we kind of feel intimidated around other Koreans who have more traditional families and can speak the language.
Philip: Eric, I know Koreans who grew up in traditional families that can’t speak a word of Korean. Never feel left out. It’s about your own personal relationship with your ethnicity. Not how others view you.
Eric: I try, but I often feel that I will not fully see myself as Korean (nor will my family in Korea). Maybe it’s my own personal insecurity?
Sarah: Do you all identify as Korean Americans? What does that mean to you?
Joan: I identify as Korean American because I feel that both words describe me. One part alone would not suffice 🙂
Eric: Joan, I totally and fully agree.
KoreAm: Is race a factor in whom you decide to date?
Yihwan: It’s a minor factor.
Philip: Yes, right now I can only date a Korean.
Joan: Well, I’m definitely attracted to a diverse group of men, but I feel the obligation to only date Korean men because of my mom’s expectations. She would come home with stories about her coworkers’ daughters-in-law doing outrageous taboo things that a Korean girl would never do and then she’d start dropping statistics about how interracial marriages have a higher divorce rate.
Philip: LOL Joan!!! My mom says the same thing! But she always remembers to add, “Jesus this, Jesus that.”
Sarah: Race used to be a huge factor in whom I wanted to date. But now that I’m more comfortable with my own identity, race no longer plays a role at all. However, I would really want my boyfriend to communicate with my grandmother.
Eric: Race has never mattered to me, but I find myself mostly with white girls. I’ve dated my girlfriend Corrie for 5 years now, and although she’s white, I sometimes believe she’s way more Asian. She oftentimes has more motivation to know about Asian culture than me.
Sunkyung: I asked my parents what they would say if I brought home someone non-Korean and said I wanted to marry him. My dad said that as long as he could sit down with him, drink soju (liquor), eat some sort of jjigae (stew), and knew he had a good head on his shoulders, that he’d be okay.
KoreAm: Let’s talk current events. What are your thoughts on North Korea?
Sunkyung: The DPRK is such a touchy subject. I can’t help but start talking about China, and then Japan, and then the U.S. all at once.
Yihwan: Besides the political conflict that surrounds their nuclear program, the humanitarian issue is more pressing.
Eric: I am concerned for the security of South Korea because of the recent missile tests. I feel that imminent change will occur upon the transfer of power from Kim Jong-il to his son.
Philip: I’m sorry for saying this, but I am not 100% sure I am comfortable with a united Korea.
Joan: It’s a controversial issue. Many experts think it would be the economic downfall of SK.
KoreAm: Another topic: the election of President Obama.
Sunkyung: Barack wins: HURRAY! I can relate to our government for the first time in my life.
Philip: I am upset by the election. I don’t believe in big government.
Joan: I was torn.
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KoreAm: In your communities, do Korean Americans care about politics?
Joan: Korean Americans are much too nonchalant when it comes to politics.
Sarah: They love to talk about what’s on the news and even complain from time to time. However, they DO NOT ACT!
Philip: That is not true!
Sarah: In my small town, it’s really difficult to see action.
Joan: Let me tell you about Duluth, Ga. When they were having elections for the new mayor, the winner won by a little more than 100 votes. In Duluth, there are over 300 registered Korean American voters, yet a tiny percentage of them actually voted in this specific election. If more Korean American voters were active, they could have decided who the mayor of Duluth was. It really irks me…
KoreAm: There was a recent study, reported by the New York Times, that found that students who roomed with someone of a different race became more open-minded about race and ethnicity. Except those who roomed with Asian Americans. Those who roomed with Asians became more prejudiced themselves. Your thoughts?
Joan: Honestly, I think Asians are pretty prejudiced and elitist. Unfortunately I see it in myself a lot.
Philip: I concur!
Joan: The perception of Asians as the “model minority” pulls more Asians to be elitist among other minorities. Most first generation Koreans are elitist as well. It rubs off on the second generation without us realizing it.
Sarah: As a resident advisor on campus, I can see how that poll could be legitimized.
Sunkyung: But maybe it’s the mindset of the people who end up getting paired with the Asian Americans in the first place. A lot of people think Asians are inferior and “soooo culturally different.”
KoreAm: Have you ever experienced racism at school?
Joan: In high school, yes. Not in college though. That would be way too taboo.
Philip: By teachers, I think. But not by students.
Yihwan: Not against Koreans, no.
Eric: I had one particularly rude classmate in high school that spent every year calling me “Chinaman.” He tried to pick fights with me, called me out in the hallways…you name it.
Sunkyung: I’ve faced racism from people who don’t know they’re being racist.
Joan: Racism is still racism. You have to deal with the consequences just the same. When I went to the DMV to get my license when I was 16, the first thing they asked from me was my immigration papers.
Sunkyung: OMG
Joan: I calmly replied, “I’m a citizen.”
Sunkyung: When I transferred to school in LA, they totally made me take [a language test] because I wrote that I was fluent in Korean and English! It’s as if being bilingual was a handicap.
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KoreAm: Let’s go back to the Virginia Tech shootings in 2007. When we found out that the shooter, Seung-Hui Cho, was Korean, some KA students felt nervous on their college campuses. Anyone have similar anxieties?
Sunkyung: I didn’t have any fears, but who knows if people started fearing me?
Philip: Same, no fears. I didn’t believe anyone would take that single incident and blame me, or my race, for it. I’m not going to lie though…I wished he wasn’t Korean.
Sarah: When I heard that he was Korean, I felt my stomach drop.
Joan: At first I had absolutely no fears at all. And then I got a call from my parents telling me not to walk alone at night.
Sunkyung: I wish the media wasn’t so racial about it. Korean this, Korean that. I feel like the media was trying to fulfill the “angry Korean” prophecy.
Philip: Yea!! When Columbine happened, they didn’t blame the NRA or white people.
Philip: But at the same time, we deserve that. When we want to take credit for something, we always say, OHH KOREANS!!!
KoreAm: What else frustrates you about Korean culture?
Yihwan: The obsession with academia.
Joan: 1) Lack of civic involvement, 2) obsession with reputation, 3) being so exclusive! You can’t live in your little KA bubble forever! Eventually, the generations will have to assimilate. And 4) having to have all the best labels (Ivy League school, designer purses).
Philip: The superficialness of it. How you have to be skinny and have that new V-shaped face or whatever. So ridiculous.
KoreAm: What misconceptions might people have about your generation?
Joan: That we have no morals.
Sunkyung: That we don’t know how to give a proper handshake because all we do is tweet.
Yihwan: Haha. That we’re apathetic.
Philip: I’ve always heard that 2nd generation Koreans are trying too hard to be white.
Joan: I’ve never heard that.
KoreAm: What causes you to stress out?
Sunkyung: I feel a significant financial burden. I’ve been on my own ever since I came to Boston for school.
Sarah: I totally agree. Especially in these times.
Philip: I agree, financials.
Joan: I agree.
KoreAm: For soon-to-be graduates, as you are about to embark on a new chapter of your lives, what is one word that describes how you’re feeling at this moment?
Sunkyung: Two words: daring and hopeful.
Joan: I’m … contemplating?
Philip: Renewed.
Sarah: Bittersweet.
Eric: Daunted. Many have asked me where I’m going to take my life. But my life is an experience to be lived and shouldn’t be approached as a task to be accomplished.
KoreAm: Wise words. And with that, we’ll go ahead and wrap it up. Thanks to all of you for sharing your views.
Philip: Thanks for the opportunity.
Yihwan: It was nice getting to talk with all of you.
Joan: 🙂
Sarah: Thank you! Have an awesome day and keep in touch!
Eric: Take care, everybody.
Sunkyung: Facebook me!
